Hey guys-
Take action here please:
https://www.environmentcalifornia.org/action/oceans/bays-and-beaches?id4=ES
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Mike
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Seoul Weeks 5-7: New Friends, Boundaries Broken and Hosting
Greetings Seoul Blog Readers!
After a few nights of rest, I'm back in the saddle again, writing to you about the various misadventures of my time here in Seoul. To pick up where I last left off...
Wednesday after the very "interactive" lunch with my cousins, turned into Wednesday night and the director of marketing, Priya, coming down from the fourth floor to make good on her promise to take me out with her team for a night of drinking. Apparently, I have been the subject of much gossip in the office and the fourth floor girls were interested in getting me drunk to jostle answers out of me about my personal life.
So we set out with Chris the COO, Priya his wife, and the gang of giggling girls to dinner. They are as follows: Yu Jung, Jin Yung and Miho. The six of us enjoyed a delicious meal of, you guessed it, sam-gyup-sal, accompanied with the usual soju, bek-se-ju and the other sweeter stuff in the larger and more rotund bottle.
Spending time with these girls proved to be very enjoyable, with lots of laughter, promises of teaching Korean, Japanese and English to each other (Miho is Japanese and Yu Jung was educated in the states), and general post-work drunken revelry. If I were to do this every night, like most other Koreans, I think I'd be more than a little compromised...
After dinner, which Chris bought, and which I fought with him over until he glared down at me and threatened to pull rank, we moved onto our local watering hole, Wa Bar. I was surprised to see a bar with lots of western symbols, signs and general atmosphere - a comforting sight that reminded me of my dear America. I started to snap some embarrassing photos that you'll see once I upload, while we enjoyed a few drinks. Most surprisingly, they had Guinness on tap.
Now my affiliations with a certain Irish gent have refined my tastes for Guinness to a barely-dulled needle point. I was scoffing at Chris' description of a "not bad pint", until it came to me, seven minutes later, with a beautiful head and a clear soy sauce like body. I took one sip of the velvety layer and slammed a hand down on the table excitedly. It was a DAMN good pint. In fact, much better than anything I'd had in An Bourain, Finn McCools, or any of the various Red Lions in London. On top of that, it is a consistent pint, as I've visited Wa Bar quite a number of times since.
After a couple of drinks, a couple rounds of Guinness-branded Jenga, and a resulting couple rounds of punishment, namely shots of Absolut, we headed out. Chris and Priya departed to take care of the kiddies, and the girls, still wanting something to do, followed me back to my apartment. There, we drank more soju, a bottle of the red I bought a couple weeks before, and some coffee and TV for Miho (she doesn't have a TV at home). Good conversation and the clinking of many glasses ensued and endured until 4 am, when I waved the girls through the front door.
The next day was not pretty. Exhausted from a night and morning of nonstop imbibing, I muttered greetings in alcohol-infused breath. Coffee was in order, and so I left to go next door. Standing there waiting for their coffee were Miho and Jin Young, looking as though they were about to keel over. We shared a good and tired laugh, and walked back to our desks.
After a long and exhausting day, I headed straight to the Ibis hotel for a long hot soak in the scalding hot pool. The following progressions of hot to cold, and back to hot, reminiscent of Palm Springs Spring Break '96, ensured a relaxing descent to REM sleep.
++++
The days since have blurred into a streak of a layer cake, each layer being an event in time, the time being the only irrelevant aspect. And so I continue with another hazy recollection, now taking shape as a certain Friday night in Seoul, Korea.
The day ended innocently enough, with my cousin calling me to Bun-dang for dinner with he and his wife. With the preparations for the board meeting at hand, it was tough to extract myself from the office, but finally, I was able to, about two hours tardy.
Vincent and I headed to the subway where I was finally introduced to the clean, efficient and well-planned system. Thankfully Vincent was there to provide orientation in his usual clear, warm-hearted and caring way.
I got off at my stop, a good 35 minute ride on a Disney-esque, or Getty-esque transport, called my cousin and coordinated the pickup. Bun-dang is on what might be considered the outskirts of Seoul, the urban blocks showing signs of tiring against the rolling hills of Seoul's exterior. Still, there are glistening reminders of Seoul's developmental might- apartment buildings called "The Paragon" or "Athena Castle".
Each station or "yuk" has surrounding it a zoning masterpiece - each and every human need can be fulfilled, purchased or indulged within a walking mile radius. This is the kind of consideration that America needs to pay towards its new developments, to wrest free from the binds of an auto-centric mindset.
I met Chang-whan Hyung and Michele and we made our way to an Italian restaurant about a mile from their apartment. We enjoyed dinner, conversation about my field, his quickly developing plan to start an English-speaking school and then headed back to his apartment to visit his infant son. I toured around their beautiful apartment, checking out his growing collection of WWII models, outdoor model paint area, and their guest bedroom. We continued our conversation, growing from the subject of business into quantum field theory, spirituality, the potential cross-relevance of the artistic process to business management. Soon enough, it was time to depart, as the subway stops running at midnight.
The approaching alarm sounded, and beautiful chimes rang as the subway pulled into the glistening THX 1130-like station. Unlike New York or London, there is little to no gap to mind here, and so I stepped forward with confidence.
Transferring from the yellow to the green had me waiting for about ten minutes, watching the news on the flatscreens overhead. Unlike the yellow line, the green line is encased in sets of sliding doors, reminiscent of, if not exactly like, the train systems of major airports like Denver, Atlanta or JFK. The doors slid open and I stepped on board, my nose suddenly assaulted by the stench of soju, strong on the breaths and red on the faces of the Korean businessmen making their way home. The businessmen that sat in the elderly slots at the ends of the train, glanced at me more than once. Positively smashed from a night of heavy drinking, they murmured to each other about this or that, threaded to the nines in their black pin-stripe suits, silver ties and leather bags and briefcases. I underestimated their faculties however, as an elderly man hobbled on board, glanced at their inappropriately-placed bodies, and waited a moment. They sprang up from their seats, clearing the area for the older man, their faces reddening more from the exertion, or the embarrassment- probably both.
I exited the station, disoriented, caught a cab back home, and answered the numerous texts I had received from the fourth floor gaggle. I made my way to the Japanese bar that served Coronas and climbed the stairs. Rounding the corner, I headed toward the familiar voices: Chris, Priya, Jin Yung, Yu Jung, Miho and some of the other CS guys, Rick, Jae Min, JJ and I-forgot-his-name. Clearly needing to play the game of catch up, I quickly slucked down four pints, much to the delight of a very vocal, youthful Jae Min. Priya beckoned me over and told me that my place was next to her, and that dammit, that was just the way it was going to be. I laughed and indulged her, greatly enjoying the company of Rick, who is a more boorish version of my best friend Stephen. They both share in common a hilarious ability to display emotion. Rick's face and manners bent this way and that, pulling laughter from out of our bellies. He belonged on Korean TV, I told him, likening him to the common Korean fool. He told me that these aren't good words, and threatened to leave. We begged him to stay, as he pulled on his overcoat. He did, with a chuckle.
I made my way to the other end of the area, where JJ intercepted me and started to speak in his quiet, toned down way about how he is accredited to teach English, and how I'm not like the others in the office, and how we should speak English to each other, and would I, could I, something-or-other? He kept raising his fist so we could "Wonder Twins Activate! Form of a Drunken Korean!"
Soon, his mutterings turned into invitations which at first I could not understand until he, perhaps unconsciously, started to rub his Corona, heightening its phallic properties. I was immediately turned-off, and became quite wary of his advances. My opinion was confirmed by the looks on the faces of those that have known him for much longer. Eventually, Chris and I pulled him away from the group and forced him into a taxi. Later that night, I found out that JJ was at times an uncontrollable drunk, and his invitation were to visit a room salon where the host girls sit on your lap with their tops off.
I decided, instead, to stay with this now improved and familiar group of friends, the one wild card pulled from the deck. We continued on course, except for that Rick quietly disappeared. We all grew aware of this, and Chris called him on the phone. Rick told us that his wife was expecting him at home and he needed to make a baby! We all laughed at that idea, and the phone was passed to me. I spoke to him in Korean, reinforcing that I was his older brother, and wouldn't he be better off hanging out with us? With little hope in our hearts, we hung up the phone and continued drinking and talking about Yu Jung's issues with her work boyfriend.
It was awkward when I first arrived, since Yu Jung and her boyfriend were arguing quite visibly at the table. She told us later that he broke up with her at that moment. She seemed quite fine with the decision.
Then, about an hour later, Rick pops up again, his square figure filling the small Japanese door frame. We roared with approval!! He had told his wife that this was a good opportunity to make friends with his newly-found "hyung" from America, and that that was that! He was going back out! He wiped his brow, and "whewed" having shaken free of the ball and chain for the first time in his life. I don't know what consequences he faced the next day, but to be sure, I made it worth his while.
We stumbled from the bar once Jin Young came back from the restroom, just having gotten off the phone with her live-in sister. She shot us all a disgruntled look and asked in a sassy way, "are we going to keep drinking here?" We all jumped up and made noises of approval. She was showing her bad-ass side, for the first time, this sweet-faced, innocent slip of a girl. Jae Min had also sounded a cry of "drink until morning!" which would prove to be his misfortune later.
Walking down the street with Jin young, arm-in-arm, she put me to the test reading the Korean lettering on the signs. We moved from convenience store to convenience store, picking up a bottle of scotch here, a few bottles of soju there, snacks and cup-a-ramens to prepare for the long night ahead. The party moved back to my place, after an aimless twenty minutes of the blind leading the blind. Eventually, we jumped in two cabs and walked from the Ibis Hotel.
Sheepishly, I opened the front door of my building, and we filed in, climbing the three flights to my apartment. To my surprise, and once again indicative of how we do in Korea, the group hushed to absolute silence and tiny giggles, as they waited for me to open my door.
We sat on the floor, opened bottles, poured glasses, boiled water and ate noodles, snacked on chocolates and cookies and in general had a great time. Jae Min's war cry of "drink til morning" ended up with him passing out before everyone else. I eventually led him to my bedroom where he lay comfortably for the duration. Chris turned on the music, and he and Priya danced. Miho sat with some coffee and lay her head to the side, while Jin Young and Yu Jung discussed a serious subject, something about boys and how silly they are. We all got along quite well, and as the pictures will show, we enjoyed ourselves massively!
Five o'clock came, Chris and Priya departed and the rest got up to leave. By the time I came back home after walking them out, the birds were chirping, the light starting its glow, and fatigue set in. Yu Jung woke me after I fell asleep - she was leaving, and left me a perfectly clean apartment. Sweet girl and thank God it was Saturday the next day!
After a few nights of rest, I'm back in the saddle again, writing to you about the various misadventures of my time here in Seoul. To pick up where I last left off...
Wednesday after the very "interactive" lunch with my cousins, turned into Wednesday night and the director of marketing, Priya, coming down from the fourth floor to make good on her promise to take me out with her team for a night of drinking. Apparently, I have been the subject of much gossip in the office and the fourth floor girls were interested in getting me drunk to jostle answers out of me about my personal life.
So we set out with Chris the COO, Priya his wife, and the gang of giggling girls to dinner. They are as follows: Yu Jung, Jin Yung and Miho. The six of us enjoyed a delicious meal of, you guessed it, sam-gyup-sal, accompanied with the usual soju, bek-se-ju and the other sweeter stuff in the larger and more rotund bottle.
Spending time with these girls proved to be very enjoyable, with lots of laughter, promises of teaching Korean, Japanese and English to each other (Miho is Japanese and Yu Jung was educated in the states), and general post-work drunken revelry. If I were to do this every night, like most other Koreans, I think I'd be more than a little compromised...
After dinner, which Chris bought, and which I fought with him over until he glared down at me and threatened to pull rank, we moved onto our local watering hole, Wa Bar. I was surprised to see a bar with lots of western symbols, signs and general atmosphere - a comforting sight that reminded me of my dear America. I started to snap some embarrassing photos that you'll see once I upload, while we enjoyed a few drinks. Most surprisingly, they had Guinness on tap.
Now my affiliations with a certain Irish gent have refined my tastes for Guinness to a barely-dulled needle point. I was scoffing at Chris' description of a "not bad pint", until it came to me, seven minutes later, with a beautiful head and a clear soy sauce like body. I took one sip of the velvety layer and slammed a hand down on the table excitedly. It was a DAMN good pint. In fact, much better than anything I'd had in An Bourain, Finn McCools, or any of the various Red Lions in London. On top of that, it is a consistent pint, as I've visited Wa Bar quite a number of times since.
After a couple of drinks, a couple rounds of Guinness-branded Jenga, and a resulting couple rounds of punishment, namely shots of Absolut, we headed out. Chris and Priya departed to take care of the kiddies, and the girls, still wanting something to do, followed me back to my apartment. There, we drank more soju, a bottle of the red I bought a couple weeks before, and some coffee and TV for Miho (she doesn't have a TV at home). Good conversation and the clinking of many glasses ensued and endured until 4 am, when I waved the girls through the front door.
The next day was not pretty. Exhausted from a night and morning of nonstop imbibing, I muttered greetings in alcohol-infused breath. Coffee was in order, and so I left to go next door. Standing there waiting for their coffee were Miho and Jin Young, looking as though they were about to keel over. We shared a good and tired laugh, and walked back to our desks.
After a long and exhausting day, I headed straight to the Ibis hotel for a long hot soak in the scalding hot pool. The following progressions of hot to cold, and back to hot, reminiscent of Palm Springs Spring Break '96, ensured a relaxing descent to REM sleep.
++++
The days since have blurred into a streak of a layer cake, each layer being an event in time, the time being the only irrelevant aspect. And so I continue with another hazy recollection, now taking shape as a certain Friday night in Seoul, Korea.
The day ended innocently enough, with my cousin calling me to Bun-dang for dinner with he and his wife. With the preparations for the board meeting at hand, it was tough to extract myself from the office, but finally, I was able to, about two hours tardy.
Vincent and I headed to the subway where I was finally introduced to the clean, efficient and well-planned system. Thankfully Vincent was there to provide orientation in his usual clear, warm-hearted and caring way.
I got off at my stop, a good 35 minute ride on a Disney-esque, or Getty-esque transport, called my cousin and coordinated the pickup. Bun-dang is on what might be considered the outskirts of Seoul, the urban blocks showing signs of tiring against the rolling hills of Seoul's exterior. Still, there are glistening reminders of Seoul's developmental might- apartment buildings called "The Paragon" or "Athena Castle".
Each station or "yuk" has surrounding it a zoning masterpiece - each and every human need can be fulfilled, purchased or indulged within a walking mile radius. This is the kind of consideration that America needs to pay towards its new developments, to wrest free from the binds of an auto-centric mindset.
I met Chang-whan Hyung and Michele and we made our way to an Italian restaurant about a mile from their apartment. We enjoyed dinner, conversation about my field, his quickly developing plan to start an English-speaking school and then headed back to his apartment to visit his infant son. I toured around their beautiful apartment, checking out his growing collection of WWII models, outdoor model paint area, and their guest bedroom. We continued our conversation, growing from the subject of business into quantum field theory, spirituality, the potential cross-relevance of the artistic process to business management. Soon enough, it was time to depart, as the subway stops running at midnight.
The approaching alarm sounded, and beautiful chimes rang as the subway pulled into the glistening THX 1130-like station. Unlike New York or London, there is little to no gap to mind here, and so I stepped forward with confidence.
Transferring from the yellow to the green had me waiting for about ten minutes, watching the news on the flatscreens overhead. Unlike the yellow line, the green line is encased in sets of sliding doors, reminiscent of, if not exactly like, the train systems of major airports like Denver, Atlanta or JFK. The doors slid open and I stepped on board, my nose suddenly assaulted by the stench of soju, strong on the breaths and red on the faces of the Korean businessmen making their way home. The businessmen that sat in the elderly slots at the ends of the train, glanced at me more than once. Positively smashed from a night of heavy drinking, they murmured to each other about this or that, threaded to the nines in their black pin-stripe suits, silver ties and leather bags and briefcases. I underestimated their faculties however, as an elderly man hobbled on board, glanced at their inappropriately-placed bodies, and waited a moment. They sprang up from their seats, clearing the area for the older man, their faces reddening more from the exertion, or the embarrassment- probably both.
I exited the station, disoriented, caught a cab back home, and answered the numerous texts I had received from the fourth floor gaggle. I made my way to the Japanese bar that served Coronas and climbed the stairs. Rounding the corner, I headed toward the familiar voices: Chris, Priya, Jin Yung, Yu Jung, Miho and some of the other CS guys, Rick, Jae Min, JJ and I-forgot-his-name. Clearly needing to play the game of catch up, I quickly slucked down four pints, much to the delight of a very vocal, youthful Jae Min. Priya beckoned me over and told me that my place was next to her, and that dammit, that was just the way it was going to be. I laughed and indulged her, greatly enjoying the company of Rick, who is a more boorish version of my best friend Stephen. They both share in common a hilarious ability to display emotion. Rick's face and manners bent this way and that, pulling laughter from out of our bellies. He belonged on Korean TV, I told him, likening him to the common Korean fool. He told me that these aren't good words, and threatened to leave. We begged him to stay, as he pulled on his overcoat. He did, with a chuckle.
I made my way to the other end of the area, where JJ intercepted me and started to speak in his quiet, toned down way about how he is accredited to teach English, and how I'm not like the others in the office, and how we should speak English to each other, and would I, could I, something-or-other? He kept raising his fist so we could "Wonder Twins Activate! Form of a Drunken Korean!"
Soon, his mutterings turned into invitations which at first I could not understand until he, perhaps unconsciously, started to rub his Corona, heightening its phallic properties. I was immediately turned-off, and became quite wary of his advances. My opinion was confirmed by the looks on the faces of those that have known him for much longer. Eventually, Chris and I pulled him away from the group and forced him into a taxi. Later that night, I found out that JJ was at times an uncontrollable drunk, and his invitation were to visit a room salon where the host girls sit on your lap with their tops off.
I decided, instead, to stay with this now improved and familiar group of friends, the one wild card pulled from the deck. We continued on course, except for that Rick quietly disappeared. We all grew aware of this, and Chris called him on the phone. Rick told us that his wife was expecting him at home and he needed to make a baby! We all laughed at that idea, and the phone was passed to me. I spoke to him in Korean, reinforcing that I was his older brother, and wouldn't he be better off hanging out with us? With little hope in our hearts, we hung up the phone and continued drinking and talking about Yu Jung's issues with her work boyfriend.
It was awkward when I first arrived, since Yu Jung and her boyfriend were arguing quite visibly at the table. She told us later that he broke up with her at that moment. She seemed quite fine with the decision.
Then, about an hour later, Rick pops up again, his square figure filling the small Japanese door frame. We roared with approval!! He had told his wife that this was a good opportunity to make friends with his newly-found "hyung" from America, and that that was that! He was going back out! He wiped his brow, and "whewed" having shaken free of the ball and chain for the first time in his life. I don't know what consequences he faced the next day, but to be sure, I made it worth his while.
We stumbled from the bar once Jin Young came back from the restroom, just having gotten off the phone with her live-in sister. She shot us all a disgruntled look and asked in a sassy way, "are we going to keep drinking here?" We all jumped up and made noises of approval. She was showing her bad-ass side, for the first time, this sweet-faced, innocent slip of a girl. Jae Min had also sounded a cry of "drink until morning!" which would prove to be his misfortune later.
Walking down the street with Jin young, arm-in-arm, she put me to the test reading the Korean lettering on the signs. We moved from convenience store to convenience store, picking up a bottle of scotch here, a few bottles of soju there, snacks and cup-a-ramens to prepare for the long night ahead. The party moved back to my place, after an aimless twenty minutes of the blind leading the blind. Eventually, we jumped in two cabs and walked from the Ibis Hotel.
Sheepishly, I opened the front door of my building, and we filed in, climbing the three flights to my apartment. To my surprise, and once again indicative of how we do in Korea, the group hushed to absolute silence and tiny giggles, as they waited for me to open my door.
We sat on the floor, opened bottles, poured glasses, boiled water and ate noodles, snacked on chocolates and cookies and in general had a great time. Jae Min's war cry of "drink til morning" ended up with him passing out before everyone else. I eventually led him to my bedroom where he lay comfortably for the duration. Chris turned on the music, and he and Priya danced. Miho sat with some coffee and lay her head to the side, while Jin Young and Yu Jung discussed a serious subject, something about boys and how silly they are. We all got along quite well, and as the pictures will show, we enjoyed ourselves massively!
Five o'clock came, Chris and Priya departed and the rest got up to leave. By the time I came back home after walking them out, the birds were chirping, the light starting its glow, and fatigue set in. Yu Jung woke me after I fell asleep - she was leaving, and left me a perfectly clean apartment. Sweet girl and thank God it was Saturday the next day!
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Octopi, exhaustion and the game of catch up
My apologies, (to all four of you who are regularly reading my blog) for being so irregular about posting. My intention was to post once-a-week, but with a combination of exhaustion, post-drunken stupor and good old-fashioned laziness, actually contributing to my own blog has eluded me. Until now.
I've just come off a 44 hour bender over the last two days, preparing a presentation for the Board of Directors. Clearly, I'm extremely tired. I don't know if I'll make it past this paragraph. These are banker hours dammit, and I don't feel sorry for you masochistic triple-millionaires out there. Anyway, send me all the extra money that you don't have time to spend.
The BOD meeting was a success and I celebrated with yet another late night, starting with taking the admin team out for sam-gyup-sal (think Korean BBQ with really thick cut bacon that's not put in a dry bath of non-organic salts), soju (none for me thanks, I want my liver alive and well past forty), bek-se-ju (more my style) and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. Apparently, Korean girls don't have a problem talking shit about me in my presence. I take it as a compliment. They also felt my arms for muscle tone. My pythons are more like garter snakes since having left California.
Anyway, I'll come back to last night. First let me relay a story from a couple weeks ago, when I SHOULD have posted a blog for that week.
It was Wednesday, and I was poised to meet my eldest cousins, two sisters who are 62 and 59 respectively. Now, these women, who are old enough to have birthed me, are literally my first cousins. Since I've been here, I've been reminded just how large my family is, both in number and generational expanse. Anyway, I haven't seen either of them since I was eight, so it was a little bit of a challenge to find them in this sea of black hair, black overcoats, and brown eyes.
They spotted me, in fact, as I told them that I am close to a carbon copy of my father. And though they hadn't seen my father in many years, they remember him when my parents first married, which would have been my dad five years my junior currently. Thankfully, I look about 5 years younger than my current 33, so it all worked out.
I jumped in their car, the light of recognition slowly starting to glow in my eyes, as I mentally ruffled through ancient sheaves of observation. Not so much a visual process, but more one born of "jung", which would be loosely translated as familiarity/closeness/willingness to interact. The first question my eldest cousin asked was, "how much money are you making?" Whew. This is not America, let me tell you. The directness of the Korean culture is at the same time refreshing and shocking, sort of like a sub-zero blast of arctic wind after basting at the beach.
Clearly, I lied to her and said that I was making about 30% more than what I am making, just to see her reaction. She then gave me the valuable advice of asking for more money. I nodded and said, "neh".
I then experienced her unique brand of driving in Seoul, quickly discovering that the stereotype of asian drivers and women drivers were accurately portrayed in this extravagently rolled-up combination of both. Clinging to my seatbelt, I endured near-misses, the fawning, ooing and aahing, the teasing and raining-down of questions regarding the girl she set me up with, and was I going to take her to America with me? What's wrong with her? What's wrong with YOU? What's the problem? Eventually, we ground to a stop at the restaurant garage where she instructed the valet to leave it parked in the front in her very strong, brash way.
I found myself in a "hweh jip", which is a raw fish, or sashimi place. I was looking forward to lunch, honestly. Eager to try the local delicacies, I set in for the long haul of halting Korean and awkward silences (neither of which were problems in the end). First came the "jjook". Many of you would know this by the Chinese term, "jjook". Sounds similar right? Well, it's what comes around on the dim sum cart in the big old rice cooker, served in a bowl. It was delicious. Now comes the fun part.
As we were seated on the floor, in traditional Korean style, I couldn't see what was on the plate, just the bottom. It was presented with a bit of a flourish, and until it was actually viewable, I was quite excited. Then suddenly, I thought I was watching television. The chopped up octopus arms swerved and swiveled, wriggling over each other in a vain attempt to escape the acidic bath of lemon, salt, pepper and other light spices. I blinked as I swallowed hard. Clearly, this is a delicacy, and had I been better prepared, I probably would not have missed a beat. Thankfully I recovered before they noticed me faltering.
Being the polite "sisters" they were, so eager to please their younger "brother", they shoved the plate at me, and encouraged me to eat what I thought I was watching on tv. I thought to myself, "well, not everything is moving, so I'll just take what isn't moving and quickly throw it down the hatch, and pass out." So, I slowly reached for the nearest (and smallest) still piece. As the wood of my chopsticks gently grabbed a hold of the dismembered member, it jumped to life and slapped my sticks away! I nearly fainted! I realized, this is war. We're in it to win it. So, I threw it down, wrestled the bundle of nerve endings with my sticks, and tossed it down the hatch, heartily and quickly chewing so as to disguise the smaller, with much larger, movement.
I thought that was it. Apparently, I was being too delicate about the whole thing. And, as I mentioned before, since I was their guest, they felt a strong motherly instinct to feed me. So before I knew it, my eldest cousin woke up the whole colony of semi-arms, scraping their suction cups off the plate, in their last desperate plea to be free, all the time muttering about how these little guys weren't behaving, and threw half of them on my plate. I started praying to God that these things would just stop moving, but really, it just wasn't happening.
Well the rest of the day is history, and I ended up getting back to the office two hours after my lunch hijacking began. All that fish was to prepare me for the upcoming weeks of intense thinking and adventuring. More to come after a good night's rest.
I've just come off a 44 hour bender over the last two days, preparing a presentation for the Board of Directors. Clearly, I'm extremely tired. I don't know if I'll make it past this paragraph. These are banker hours dammit, and I don't feel sorry for you masochistic triple-millionaires out there. Anyway, send me all the extra money that you don't have time to spend.
The BOD meeting was a success and I celebrated with yet another late night, starting with taking the admin team out for sam-gyup-sal (think Korean BBQ with really thick cut bacon that's not put in a dry bath of non-organic salts), soju (none for me thanks, I want my liver alive and well past forty), bek-se-ju (more my style) and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. Apparently, Korean girls don't have a problem talking shit about me in my presence. I take it as a compliment. They also felt my arms for muscle tone. My pythons are more like garter snakes since having left California.
Anyway, I'll come back to last night. First let me relay a story from a couple weeks ago, when I SHOULD have posted a blog for that week.
It was Wednesday, and I was poised to meet my eldest cousins, two sisters who are 62 and 59 respectively. Now, these women, who are old enough to have birthed me, are literally my first cousins. Since I've been here, I've been reminded just how large my family is, both in number and generational expanse. Anyway, I haven't seen either of them since I was eight, so it was a little bit of a challenge to find them in this sea of black hair, black overcoats, and brown eyes.
They spotted me, in fact, as I told them that I am close to a carbon copy of my father. And though they hadn't seen my father in many years, they remember him when my parents first married, which would have been my dad five years my junior currently. Thankfully, I look about 5 years younger than my current 33, so it all worked out.
I jumped in their car, the light of recognition slowly starting to glow in my eyes, as I mentally ruffled through ancient sheaves of observation. Not so much a visual process, but more one born of "jung", which would be loosely translated as familiarity/closeness/willingness to interact. The first question my eldest cousin asked was, "how much money are you making?" Whew. This is not America, let me tell you. The directness of the Korean culture is at the same time refreshing and shocking, sort of like a sub-zero blast of arctic wind after basting at the beach.
Clearly, I lied to her and said that I was making about 30% more than what I am making, just to see her reaction. She then gave me the valuable advice of asking for more money. I nodded and said, "neh".
I then experienced her unique brand of driving in Seoul, quickly discovering that the stereotype of asian drivers and women drivers were accurately portrayed in this extravagently rolled-up combination of both. Clinging to my seatbelt, I endured near-misses, the fawning, ooing and aahing, the teasing and raining-down of questions regarding the girl she set me up with, and was I going to take her to America with me? What's wrong with her? What's wrong with YOU? What's the problem? Eventually, we ground to a stop at the restaurant garage where she instructed the valet to leave it parked in the front in her very strong, brash way.
I found myself in a "hweh jip", which is a raw fish, or sashimi place. I was looking forward to lunch, honestly. Eager to try the local delicacies, I set in for the long haul of halting Korean and awkward silences (neither of which were problems in the end). First came the "jjook". Many of you would know this by the Chinese term, "jjook". Sounds similar right? Well, it's what comes around on the dim sum cart in the big old rice cooker, served in a bowl. It was delicious. Now comes the fun part.
As we were seated on the floor, in traditional Korean style, I couldn't see what was on the plate, just the bottom. It was presented with a bit of a flourish, and until it was actually viewable, I was quite excited. Then suddenly, I thought I was watching television. The chopped up octopus arms swerved and swiveled, wriggling over each other in a vain attempt to escape the acidic bath of lemon, salt, pepper and other light spices. I blinked as I swallowed hard. Clearly, this is a delicacy, and had I been better prepared, I probably would not have missed a beat. Thankfully I recovered before they noticed me faltering.
Being the polite "sisters" they were, so eager to please their younger "brother", they shoved the plate at me, and encouraged me to eat what I thought I was watching on tv. I thought to myself, "well, not everything is moving, so I'll just take what isn't moving and quickly throw it down the hatch, and pass out." So, I slowly reached for the nearest (and smallest) still piece. As the wood of my chopsticks gently grabbed a hold of the dismembered member, it jumped to life and slapped my sticks away! I nearly fainted! I realized, this is war. We're in it to win it. So, I threw it down, wrestled the bundle of nerve endings with my sticks, and tossed it down the hatch, heartily and quickly chewing so as to disguise the smaller, with much larger, movement.
I thought that was it. Apparently, I was being too delicate about the whole thing. And, as I mentioned before, since I was their guest, they felt a strong motherly instinct to feed me. So before I knew it, my eldest cousin woke up the whole colony of semi-arms, scraping their suction cups off the plate, in their last desperate plea to be free, all the time muttering about how these little guys weren't behaving, and threw half of them on my plate. I started praying to God that these things would just stop moving, but really, it just wasn't happening.
Well the rest of the day is history, and I ended up getting back to the office two hours after my lunch hijacking began. All that fish was to prepare me for the upcoming weeks of intense thinking and adventuring. More to come after a good night's rest.
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